How loving what we resist is the way to end our suffering.
Acceptance is the most basic form of love. It is one of the main happiness keys. Embodying acceptance is the key to ending suffering. The main cause of suffering in our lives is wishing that something is different from what it is. Once we accept things as they are, our suffering eases.
Needless to say, I am not suggesting that you should be a walkover. There are certain things and situations that should not be accepted and actions should be taken to improve them or decisions made to walk away from those situations completely. Another possible solution could be to set clear boundaries or bettering communication or both. Each situation is unique and is best dealt with independently, considering carefully the case at hand.
However, there are an equal amount of situations that we are unable to change. They are simply beyond our control. In these cases, when we are able to accept our circumstances, the energy begins to move again and is released from the stagnation of resistance. The more that we can accept, the more we are able to flow and thereby move beyond our current conditions.
By first accepting what is, we are freeing up the energy that is caught by us resisting what is.
“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Accepting Who We Are.
Accepting ourselves for who we are is the first step to self-love. We currently live in a world that is based on consumerism that thrives by enforcing the illusion that we are not enough and that we need to buy products to make us whole. By not accepting ourselves fully we are buying into this materialism.
Of course, our unworthiness is nothing but a fallacy but we have been programmed this way for so long that it is sometimes hard to see it as so. Most likely, it is downright impossible.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” ~ Mark Twain
The only way that we are going to reclaim our self-worth and become whole is by looking within and not from anything outside of us. The first step for us to take to begin to do this is to accept ourselves as the perfectly imperfect being that we are. Right here, right now.
From there we can begin to heal ourselves but it all starts with acceptance.
Acceptance Of The Past.
For us to truly heal we must become fluent in embracing ALL the emotions that arise within us especially those that we have kept hidden away for whatever reason. The majority of us have been trained to do the exact opposite so it will take some time to embody this process.
Remember that this is work for the brave of heart as it takes extraordinary courage to face the pain and discomfort that we have perpetually been avoiding. To assist us in this process we must be patient, kind and compassionate towards ourselves.
“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” ~ William James
Very often the fear of something is worse than the thing itself. Resisting what is needing our attention results in being more painful than the actual feeling of it. This is because when we continually resist our fear, we are forcing ourselves to repeatedly feel the dread of the said fear, each and every time that we do.
When we ignore or resist, it gets louder each time that we do or else it begins to rot away within us causing us physical dis-ease. Whereas if we just feel it straight away, even though it will not be pleasant it will be over much sooner and be less painful in the long run.
Giving Your Feelings An Audience - Healing Through Feeling.
When we are able to accept and spend time with feelings that have been calling us, it is likely that they have been waiting for this moment for a very long time (even decades). The key to releasing is to not get pulled down into the emotion that is seeking attention but to honour it instead. To feel it without getting sucked in and love it and ourselves throughout this process.
Do take your time and give what is arising the acknowledgement that it deserves and then love it with all of your heart and soul. This way it can finally be liberated by your genuine love and compassion.
Naturally, this takes practice so resist the temptation to be hard on yourself and congratulate yourself every time you are successful at recognising and addressing these delicate issues that crave your attention.
Allow the emotion to pass through you and remind yourself and your discomfort that all is well. It is safe for you to heal.
Calming Future Anxieties Through Acceptance.
Accepting what we may be afraid of as opposed to resisting it and pushing it out of our minds can heal our anxieties, When we accept and feel our fears, we are able to heal them by diffusing them and giving them the attention that they demand.
Resistance will keep us going against the flow thereby freezing us into the status quo. To avoid prolonged torture, the saying ‘What you resist persists’ is 100% true. I can tell you, as I have tried and tested it a gazillion times hahaha!
Stepping into acceptance, relaxing into what is and looking at what we are most afraid of is where our healing and freedom lie.
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.” ~ Fulton Oursler
Most likely, the anxiety that is arising within us that is causing this fear was cultivated within us when we were much younger and less able to fend for ourselves. In all likelihood, it was valid in someway back then but now that we are adults, we are more than able to deal with it. We have grown so much since then and are much stronger than we realise in many ways, with all that we have experienced.
Are You The Elephant?
I think that this story illustrates this point best. I can’t remember where I read it but the story itself remains imprinted within me:
A baby elephant was tied by a rope to a pole. As hard as it tugged at it over and over again, it was unable to free itself. This elephant was tied to the same pole as it matured. When the elephant grew into an adult it was physically huge by this point so it could have easily freed itself with a somewhat slight tug on the rope. Sadly, it never even tried because it did not even cross its mind that that was possible, seeing as it had been tied up all its life and its earliest memories of trying to escape had all resulted in failure…
It was merely under the illusion that freedom was unattainable when in reality it could have freed itself with more ease than it could ever have imagined!
Our fear is actually a torturous illusion albeit a very realistic one. Hence once we accept that it is there, face it and put it into the light, so to speak, it has been caught out and that in itself diffuses its power! To completely diminish it we must feel it, sit with each, hear it out and love the hell out of it – quite literally!
Acceptance Is Honesty.
Acceptance is the key to the healing and change that we seek in our lives. We cannot constructively reach for our desires unless we fully accept where we are now. From that acceptance, growth can occur.
“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” ~ Albert Einstein
If we are in denial about where we are able to start than it is unlikely that we will ever be able to reach our desired outcome, as we are moving from an illusory starting point.
Once we love through acceptance we are able to heal, grow and change in the ways that we most desire.
I will leave you with The Serenity Prayer. Feel free to substitute God with your personal Higher Power of choice that resonates with you… Source, The Universe, etc.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.“
~ Reinhold Niebuhr
Sending infinite acceptance, courage and healing miracles your way!